Boyfriend Accuses Girlfriend Of Not Trusting Him Because She Won't Give Him Access To Her Safe

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abbyadler
Jun 12, 2022 7:00 PM EDT

Relationships are all about trust. When people enter a relationship with one another, there should be no funny business going on behind the scenes. Usually, when we think about trust, the issue of cheating comes up. Of course, if the couple involved is in an open relationship and both parties involved are okay with their significant other being with other people, then that's another story. We're talking about couples that have agreed to only be emotionally and physically intimate with each other, and then one cheats, completely breaking the trust they thought they had built. However, even though there should be trust in a relationship, it doesn't mean that the couple owe each other access to everything. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP told us about how she just moved in with her boyfriend. Even though he doesn't need the code to her safe, he argues that she would give it to him if she really trusted him. What do you think? Scroll down for all the details of this story. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmIthe Asshole. Posted 2 u/safegfthrowaway by 10 hours ago 2 27 3 AITA for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe? Throwaway and usual mobile formatting apologies.
    via u/safegfthrowaway

    Just because the two of them are in a relationship, it doesn't mean that there can't be seperate spaces that the other person doesn't have access to. 

  • 02
    Font - I 32(f) and a Gemologist, I spend my days in the lab testing and identifying stones. From the nature of my work I also have a large and valuable collection of jewellery but also gem specimens that I keep in a safe I specifically bought and had installed to keep them safe. I also have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports.
    via u/safegfthrowaway

    Sounds like OP lives a pretty cool life. 

  • 03
    Font - I own my home and my boyfriend (33m) of 2 years recently moved in as he was renting before. I gave him the code to the smaller safe so he could put valuables in it, but he also wants the code for my gem safe. Not to put anything in it, but he says because we are living together now I should trust him and give him the code.
    via u/safegfthrowaway
  • 04
    Organism - I've said no because he has no reason to open the safe as the only thing it's used for is storing my collection, he's said he has no interest in my gem collection, doesn't want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them.
    via u/safegfthrowaway
  • 05
    Font - This is causing tension because he says I should give it to him as a show of trust, and I said no, because he literally has no reason to go in there so he doesn't need the code. This is a 6 figure collection so I'm not being difficult over a few little gems here. I am the only one who knows the code. So Reddit am I being TA here?
    via u/safegfthrowaway
  • 06
    Font - Satansbiscuit666 10 hr. ago Definitely nta. I wouldn't trust anybody with the code. Money does weird things to people. Even the ones you trust completely.
    via u/Satansbiscuit666
  • 07
    Font - tantrumbicycle. 8 hr. ago NTA. Jewelry collector here - mostly vintage Verdura and Seaman Schepps. I keep my collection in a safe and have been happily married for 25 years...my husband has never asked for the combination.
    via u/tantrumbicycle
  • 08
    Rectangle - Poekienijn 10 hr. ago edited 3 hr. ago → & 2 More Certified Proctologist [22] NTA. There is no reason to know. I really don't follow his reasoning. He doesn't want to go in your safe but he wants to be able to? What is he? A cat?
    via u/Poekienijn
  • 09
    Font - HIOP-Sartre 10 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA. Is he serious? Ask him to give you his bank card PIN, email passwords, account passwords, etc. because you now live together, and see what he says.
    via u/HIOP-Sartre
  • 10
    Font - DutchOnionKnight 10 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Everyone has a right to have a place/thing for their own. Just because you can share things, doesn't mean you have to. If he respects you, and your boundaries, he would left it at your wish for not giving that code.
    via u/DutchOnionKnight
  • 11
    Font - cigarettesAFTRsx. 10 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. It's YOUR property and you shouldn't give him the code "just because he wants it", it's just a whole overstep on his part. Also I don't see why anyone's partner would need access to something used purely for their work or field of study.
    via u/cigarettesAFTRsx
  • 12
    Font - GenesisSmokes 10 hr. ago NTA. Your boyfriend is giving off some HUGE red flags, seems like he is trying to guilt you into having access to your collection. If you already live together, why must you show your trust and "good faith" by giving him this code? Seems suspicious.
    via u/GenesisSmokes

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